New Life Deal With It!
by M1SS NATT1E
Summary: The Cullens left and now Bella's life is very different. She faces Anorexia, self harm, anger issues and has to deal with the death of her mum. Bella has a lot of piercings and a tattoo. She is not afraid of a fight and she is a rebel to say the least.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Twilight ot any of its characters. Stephenie Meyer owns it all.

**This is my first fanfiction. I hope you all enjoy. My writtings are quiet disturbing sometimes so I would like to warn you all now if you don't like self harm, cuttind, piercings, foul language or tattoos then please do not read this stroy. I do not apologise for any content written in my stories. **

**Just one last note, I am Australian ans so I will use Australian English. I have no problem with writing with American English but it is easier if I use Australian English. If you do not understand our slang than please comment and I will be happy to explain in the Authors Note for the next chapter.**

It has been three months since Edward has left and boy have things changed. I remember what he said to me in the woods just outside my house. H told me that he didn't want me anymore, that his family would be moving away, he wanted a clean break. Well things have certainly changed since then.

Jacob came around a lot once Edward left to make sure that I was coping. He kept trying to force himself on me, trying to make me think that he would be the only person able to help me through the tough times. He was so wrong. Although Jacob was my best friend and although we used to play together when we were children, I kept thinking to myself that I had grown up from that time and I didn't want to be pulled into a relationship right after the love of my life had just walked out of my life. I told Jacob that I didn't want him coming around anymore and I wanted him out of my life. Jacob was angry but he got the idea when Charlie told him that maybe it would be the best for me. I haven't seen him since that day.

Renee died three weeks after Edward left and so now I am spiralling out of control.

I am different now; I am not the little breakable Bella I used to be. No I am now something worse. This has now become a fact about my life, I get into fights with people who look at me the wrong way, I have been sent to the principals' office on more than five occasions and I just don't seem to give a shit about the world anymore. I am what they call emo. I died my hair black one week after I found out that Renee had died in a car accident. I have never cried. On that same night I started what is now part of my new life. My arms are covered in cuts, I cut myself when my life seems like too much or when I get angry. It takes the pressure off my life, giving me a chance to fight back.

I now have a lot of piercings. I remember the day I came home and Charlie had gone ballistic at me. I had gotten both my monroes done and also my belly button pierced. He yelled at said that I need to take them out now or I am grounded. That tipped me off the edge; I told him to fuck off and leave me alone, just as I walked out the house and slammed the door. Charlie doesn't see to care now; he has gotten the picture that this is the new me and the old Bella is not coming back.

I like the new me, I have attitude and I couldn't give a shit anymore. I now have a new wardrobe. Black, black, black, black a little red and white and then back to black. The old Bella used to wear cloths that were plain and normal. Well that's changed. I like to wear more tightly fitted cloths these days like, tank tops, short mini skirts, skinny leg jeans, and hoodies, stuff like that. But no matter what I wear I always have my gloves on, they go all the way up to my elbows. There black and they didn't hide my fingers. They just cover my palms and arms. I know that many people think that I am a massive emo slut that thinks she owns the world, but they can't be more wrong. If people ask me about what is happening with me, all they get is a mouthful from me.

I don't give a shit anymore and although it took a while for people to finally understand that they ended up getting it. I am not the old Isabella Marie Swan anymore she died when _they _left. I am a nightmare walking. A reminder of what happened.

Hey guys I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. I just wanted to give you all an idea of where Bella is in her life at the moment before I go into day to day living with Bella.

Don't forget to Review :)

M1SS NATT!E XD


	2. Chapter 2

****

I do not own Twli ght or any of its characters, Stephenie Meyer owns it all.

**Here is the second Chapter so I hope you all enjoyed the first. I have tried to add some comady into this chapter as laughing always makes me happy. I hope you all enjoy.**

* * *

Chapter 2

I was getting ready for school, doing my makeup, making my skin look even whiter that what it already was and then applying a massive thick amount of eyeliner around both my eyes. I had put on my skinny jeans and a black tank top with my black hoodie jacket, which had a snake on the back of it wrapped around a sword, drawing blood. My shoes were my favourite Nikes, black with a white Nike tick and in red the words _I died along time ago. _They were designed be me personally and I ordered them to be made for me.

I looked at the time and noticed that it was twenty minutes before I had to be at school, so I quickly straightened my hair and ran to my car.

I arrived at school with 5 minutes before I had to get to class. I saw Jessica Stanley eyeing me again. She has been doing that lately and I had rage ripping through me because she had been opening her mouth gossiping about me behind my back. I suddenly thought if she even tries to say one word as I walk past I would seriously loose my temper and slam her into a locker. I hate people who gossip and as far as I am concerned she deserves everything she gets. Although I have picked up an _I don't give a shit attitude_ she for some reason still manages to make my blood boil. I keep reminding myself that for me to care about what people actually say I would actually have to care.

I made my way through the corridor towards my English class. I was 10 metres away from Jessica, when Mike, Eric, Lauran and Angela crowed around her. I had my palms in fists ready for her if I had to protect myself.

"Hey Bella looks like a pathetic emo. Oh wait that is the way she usually looks." Jessica mouthed to Lauran as I was just passing her.

"Shut the fuck up you whore." I told her as I walked past her. Everyone around her had turned looking at me. Their faces said please don't cause trouble.

"What ever you emo. Why don't you just stay home so no one has to look at you" Jessica yelled.

I paused, knowing that if I turn around I would do something stupid and I would have another trip to the principals' office. I decided that I wasn't in the mood for talking to him so I just keep walking. I took maybe two steps when Jessica yelled out "That's right keep walking ya emo."

That was the last straw; I turned in a really fast pace and grabbed Jessica by shoulders. I slammed her into the lockers and I yelled, "This is what your gonna do Jess, your gonna apologise to me and then you are gonna yell out as loud as you can that you're a whore who doesn't know when to shut her fucking mouth."

Jessica was shacking once I had finished my sentence and I could tell that she was still gonna say something. "And what if I don't Bella, what ya gonna do? Huh?"

"Jess see if ya don't I am gonna make you wish that you had. I will happily might I add, punch you in that face, making sure I give you a nice black eye, than I am gonna shove you even harder against the lockers, right before I throw you across the room into the other lockers behind me. Got it!"

"Bella you don't have the guts to do that you fucking emo."

"You really shouldn't have said that you whore." Just as I said that I did exactly what I said I would do, I punched Jess right in the face, making sure I would give her a black eye, than pulled her off the lockers to slam her right back into them. Jess was fighting against me trying to pull me off her but it only got me even angrier. I spun around and threw her against the other lockers, everyone gasped once we heard her head hit them. She fell to the floor and I could tell she was crying.

People gathered around her and they all looked at me in shock. I could tell they all looked amazed that I actually did that but I didn't care. I knelt down to Jess as everyone backed away and I said, "I warned you Jess, next time I won't be so kind."

I walked away from her casually to enter my English class. People all moved out of my way as I sat down in my seat acting as if nothing had happened. It wasn't until 10 minutes later that the principal was called and I was walking in the hall to be escorted to his office. I knew everyone was staring at me but that was the least of my worries. I knew once I was in that office I would be made to recount what had happened between Jess and I.

I walked into the office and everyone was staring at me. Geez was it so amazing to see the old goody two shoes Bella Swan acting out by hitting Jessica in the face. They have seen me here in this office at least five times before this incident and they still have that look on this faces. I saw Jessica sitting on a chair with her hand holding an iced pack up to her face and her other hand holding one up to her head. Geez I must have hit me quite hard. Although I did really hate her, I didn't want to hurt her that badly but she was asking for it so when she looked at me I did the whole, you deserve it bitch look and she looked straight away from me.

I was escorted into the principals' office along with Jessica and we were made to sit in two different chairs opposite each other whilst the principal sat in his chair between us.

"I have heard the story from Jessica already Bella but I think I want to hear it form you as well. So please Bella enlighten me as to how you have caused havoc again in this school."

I really didn't like the tone that he was using with me so this time I thought I might as well get a laugh out of this because it seems these days I am always being accused of everything. I smirked right before I began talking.

"Well sir I was walking into school minding my own business when all of a sudden someone who looks exactly like me, I think they were my twin, walked past Jessica and heard her call her an emo. So my twin than walked past her and called her a whore. Jessica being the person that she is just commented again saying what _ever emo_ and this just seemed to push my twin over the edge so then my twin shoved Jessica into the lockers and said _This is what your gonna do Jess, your gonna apologise to me and then you are gonna yell out as loud as you can that you're a whore who doesn't know when to shut her fucking mouth_. Well Jessica wasn't gonna take that so she egged my twin on and my twin being who she is told her and I quote _Jess see if ya don't I am gonna make you wish that you had. I will happily might I add, punch you in that face, making sure I give you a nice black eye, than I am gonna shove you even harder against the lockers, right before I throw you across the room into the other lockers behind me. Got it! _Jess didn't believe her and said _Bella you don't have the guts to do that you fucking emo_ and then my twin did exactly what she said by and then disappeared. Sorry but I don't know where she is right now I'll call you if I see her."

They both looked at me with wide expressions but I didn't care, they wanted me to tell them what happened even after they knew so I just thought to make it a little funny whilst I was doing it.

"Bella if you think that was funny you have another thing coming."

"Look she deserved it and I don't care. She should learn when to shut her mouth."

"Bella you are suspended for three days and unless you wish to make it more I suggest you apologise to Jessica."

I had a feeling the principal was going to make me do that so I decided to say exactly the truth and nothing but the truth. "I sorry that my twin did that to you but you deserved everything you got." I walked out of the room then and went home.

I walked straight upstairs and into the bathroom. I was so aggravated by then and I needed to release my emotions. I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed my trusty razor blade. I pulled my left glove off and started to cut. Instantly I felt better. I ignored my blood as it makes me dizzy sometimes and just kept cutting. This was part of my life now. I have been cutting my wrists since Renee had died; it started 3 weeks after she had. It felt good to me, being able to get my release from the pain that was building up inside of me.

Once I had 5 cuts on my left wrist I started on my right, cutting exactly in the same spots that my other cuts were. I felt nothing after I was done. I was back to being numb again and this was the Bella that I loved being. I washed my hands and wrists and put my gloves back on, part of my persona was making sure people never knew what type of person I was anymore. I like to hide away and let people keep guessing.

I knew Charlie was going to be working until 5 o'clock and as I had managed to get myself suspended in a new record time of just 30 minutes of being at school I decided that I wanted to get another piercing. I have already had eleven piercings done but I wanted at least two more before I finish. I went down stairs and hopped in the car and drove to Port Angeles. Along the way I pulled my packet of cigarettes out and lit one up, started to remember what piercings I had gotten and why. My first two piercings were my monroes. My left one was because I wanted to change my old life and have a new personality. My right one was because my mum had just died and she would always kiss me on the right hand side of my cheek.

Belly button – because I have piercing holes in my life.

Ears both left and right lobes have 2 in them – one for dad, one for mum and two for the old Bella and the new Bella.

Tongue – because my mouth always seems to get me into trouble.

Surface on the back of my neck – to remind me to keep my head up and never let people walk over me.

Surface below my belly button – because that was from my first fight when I get hit in that spot after I had punched Mike for trying to grab my arm. He hit my back so I decided to get another piercing.

Another surface on the back of my neck to remind me when I first got suspended for grabbing a bottle of paint and spilling it all over some kids art assignment and them for saying I looked like a tramp. I was about to get into a fight when a boy grabbed my neck and almost chocked me.

This was the recollection of all my piercings and the reasons behind them. I knew it sounded funny and a bit stupid my I didn't care. It is my life and I don't get bossed around by no one.

I arrived at the piercing palace and I booked myself in to be done. I waited 10 minutes and my name was called. I walked into the little room and my favourite piercer was there. I never asked his name as I didn't want to know.

"So Miss Swan what are you getting done this time hmm?"

"Well I think I want to get my left nipple done and my clit please". I said this with worry because I knew he wouldn't do it as I knew I needed to be 18 but I thought he might let me off the hook.

"Bella I can do the nipple but not the clit as you are not 18. Sorry."

"Please I have had a really bad day and I was really counting on you to please just do this for me."

"Rules are rules Bella. And I wouldn't be allowed to do it anyway; I would have to get a female to do it. Males aren't allowed to do those piercings here anyway."

"I won't tell anyone ever. I know you can trust me." I tried to give him the cutest smile I could.

"Ok ill do it but if someone asks you about it you did it yourself."

It took 30 minutes to get them both done and boy did it hurt. I knew that I would be sore for at least a week especially with my clit piercing. On the way home I felt really uncomfortable because if I moved a certain way I would nudge it and I would scream out in agony. Boy was this piercing sore but it reminded me who I was, how much I had changed and no matter what happens nothing is going to bring me back to being old Bella Swan. I decided that the reason why I got my left nipple pierced was because that is the closest place to my heart and that is where I feel the holes in me from when everyone had abandoned me and where my love for all those people are, especially Edward. I got my other piercing because I knew that Edward would never want to have sex with me and no matter what I will save myself for him. I know he will never come back but it still is the principal that I will always love Edward and no one will ever know that.

The day moved on and I had finished all my homework. I know it is strange how I would always get myself into trouble and yet I would always be the top of the class. All my classes were straight A's. As I would move around the school I knew that teachers would always comment to other teachers wondering why I would act the way I do and yet still do all my work to get my A. It is strange to me as well but I just needed to keep myself focusing on something other then the Cullens. I would always think about them if I was by myself for too long and this would cause me to break away even more. My life through my eyes is in black white and red. I never add more colour to it then that as it makes thing more complicated. When I start to remember the Cullens like Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle and Edward my life is gaining colour. I don't want that. If I keep remembering them for too long I start to hurt and I can't let that happen. So I am a closed book and I vowed that nothing would be able to pry it open.

When Charlie came home he looked amazingly calm. I knew it wasn't going to last long because as he was the chief of police and the town only had 3,120 people. So it was inevitable that he would know what had happened.

"Bella, how was your day?" he asked me.

I knew he knew what had happened but I had a feeling he was waiting for me to tell him. Charlie seemed to test me these days just to make sure that I am telling him the truth.

"It was fine dad, you?"

"Oh it was marvellous just great. I went to work and was talking with the guys down there and then I get a phone call for me to go down to the school. I thought something bad had happened to you. So when I arrived I was shocked to hear that you beat up Jessica Stanley. I mean I wasn't that shocked because you have changed so much Bella. So now I hear you are suspended. Common Bella what are you doing with your life?"

This set me off. I was so angry that every word I spoke was yelled. I hated people when they were sarcastic especially when they spoke to me.

"Jessica Stanley deserved everything she got. I don't regret anything I did. If she wants to go around school and gossip and spread rumours about people and continuously call people emo's then she should be prepared for the consequences when people such as me come along and set her back into her hole. She acts as if she is the queen of the world and I know she needed a wakeup call. As for what I am doing with my life I am living it the best I can. I am dealing with every thing that had happened especially since mum died. Or have you forgotten that already?"

I haven't ever opened up that much since everything had happened. I never talk about Renee and I really wasn't going to start now. I could feel the wounds of my internal heart ripping into pieces. I just couldn't take it anymore.

"Bella I am sorry but you just can't keep doing what you are doing. You can't treat people the way you do. It is not fair and using Renee as an excuse it not fair to her."

"What the fuck Charlie! I am the way I am because we are dealt with shit cards in our life! I can't believe you are accusing me of using my mums' death as an excuse for who I am! You know what go to hell; I never want to speak to you again! I don't even know why I am wasting my time talking to you!" I yelled this all at the top of my lungs and then I just walked out. I walked into the woods and just kept going.

Boy was I angry now. I could not believe Charlie was accusing me of using Renee as an excuse to be the way that I was. It made me so angry that people could accuse me of doing something like that. I thought to myself as I was walking. It was pitch black outside and the only light that was around was the light that the full moon that snuck between the trees. I have never walked out on Charlie before and I could not believe I was doing it now.

I felt myself have so many different emotions at once that I was consumed by them. I was trying to figure out what was going on when I realised where I was. I was now standing in front of the Cullens house.

* * *

So that was the second chapter. I hope I was able to make you laugh a little. If you didn't understand my Aussie slang just ask me when you review.

Cheers,

M1SS NATT1E XD


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Twlight or any of its characters, Stephenie Meyer owns it all.**

**Here is the third Chapter so I hope you all enjoyed the first. I have tried to add some comedy into this chapter as laughing always makes me happy. I hope you all enjoy**

Chapter 3

My jaw dropped the instant that I walked into the view of their house. I was still trying to fight my very much awake emotions and now I was trying to calm myself. I tried to recall how exactly I got here but I just couldn't remember. I knew I had been walking but I just felt amazed and overwhelmed when I ended up here. I was scared to be here now. Everything from my past just came rushing back, the first time I went to their house, the first day of school when I saw them, then night of my birthday that Alice had decided to plan for me and all of their faces. Golden eyes, pale and marble skin, sparkling skin that shines in the day light. These memories were surging their way through me like a film without sound. It felt so real and it was like I was dreaming. Then my brain actually clicked into place. I was standing in front of the Cullens house and I knew they were never coming back. I love them with all my heart but I could never again see their perfect faces. My life would never go back to how it was and it could never go back anyway because Renee had died and this is the new me.

I slowly walked up to their house again just because I wanted to see it again. I tried to look through the glass but I couldn't see anything. I decided to run then. Their house was beginning to creep me out. I run all the way home. I snuck into the house and laid in my bed and fell asleep.

It had been two weeks since Charlie had spoken to me and as far as I was concerned I couldn't give a fuck. I never looked at him because if I did I knew that I would be swept up with anger that I would say something even worse that what I had said before and I knew that I would regret it. I went back to school and Jessica stayed away from me. People did stair and bit and I did notice that people said a few things about how shocked they were that I could do something like that to her. I decided just to ignore them because they really weren't worth my time.

I had P.E. today it involved us looking over our old body mass index sheets from last year and comparing them to the new ones that we were going to do today. This stuff really was stupid as I hate doing all these things tasks just to get information which is not important. We had to do the beep test, measure our height, weigh ourselves, throw a ball as far as we could, jump as high as we could and take measurements of our bodies, all the things that I just hated. We were given our sheets and were paired up. As there was an uneven number of people I stayed by myself. The P.E. teacher became my partner. I thought everything was going as good as it could until we got around to weighing ourselves.

When it was my turn the teacher asked me to step up on the scales. I did so and waited for the numbers to stop on my weight. The teacher let out a gasp of air as the number stopped. I turned and looked at him as he was examining the look of me and then I let my head drop to examine the number. 49 kilos the scales read. I was shocked myself. I hadn't been on scales in a long time and I knew I wasn't eating as much as I used to but I didn't know what my weight had plummeted this much.

"Bella can I please see you after class please?" The teacher asked me as I was stepping off the scales.

"I don't wish to say behind so no you can't." I said this with the intention making sure that he knew I didn't want to talk to him about my weight as it was none of his business.

"Bella if you don't stay I will be forced to talk to your dad and recommend that you get hospitalised."

I don't like it when people threaten me especially with stuff about myself but also with my dad. "Fine I'll see you after class." I said through gritted teeth and then walked into the change rooms to get changed back into school uniform.

I started hitting the metal lockers a few times just to help calm myself down. I wasn't at home and I was really angry. If I were at home I would have been upstairs in the bathroom cutting myself just to feel numb again. I have been letting my feelings get in the way of who I am lately. I have to go back to being stone cold because if I keep feeling the way that I am my life will keep splitting into two. I kept thinking what I was going to say about my weight whilst I was hitting the lockers. I eventually gave up when I started feeling my knuckles throbbing. I walked out of the change rooms once I had gotten dressed into my normal black mini skirt, black tank top and my black jacket with a picture of a hand holding a heart and another stabbing it with a knife with blood oozing out everywhere on the back of it.

"Bella I just wanted to talk to you and ask if everything is okay at home. I know that your mum had died but I just wanted to check."

My face went really stiff because I hate when people try to get involved in my life and I really hated when people threaten me.

"Sir listen, I appreciate your concern but it is really none of your business and I am being really polite now but in this instance please take my advice and stay out of my business."

"Bella I am a teacher and I have a responsibility and a duty of care and if I think there is something wrong at home and you are harmed or harming yourself in anyway I have to report it."

"You know what fuck you; I don't give a shit about your so called duty of care. Leave me the fuck alone my life has nothing to do with you!"

"Bella don't swear at me you obviously have problems as you are suffering form anorexia and I know that you are harming yourself because you wouldn't wear those gloves for show. So don't bullshit to me."

"The only thing I am suffering from is people trying to get involved with my business. I am out of here."

I started to walk out of the gym going towards my next class when the teacher called out and said "Bella ill give you till next semester to get your life together and if I am not satisfied that you are getting better then ill make a report. Oh and I promise you that you will be hospitalised."

I just put my finger up at him and walked out. I didn't need any of this shit in my life. He has no right to get involved with who I am. He is not my father and even if he was I would change my life for anyone. I walked through the corridor to biology and noticed that I was late by 10 minutes. The teacher and the rest of the class just looked at me as I walked in. "Got a staring problem? Geez take a picture it'll last longer. Even better ill autograph it for you all."

"Bella there is no need for sarcasm and don't speak to people like that."

I laughed and smiled and said "Well sir it's just that these people look as if they have never seen me or well a fucked up teenager that doesn't give a fuck about them or anyone else for that matter."

"Bella that's last warning just take your seat!"

"Fine okay no need to yell. Oh and sir sorry I am late".

I was laughing to myself with a massive smile across my face whilst I took my seat. The class went really slow as I was scribbling in my note book. I had already studied this chapter before because when I was suspended I decided to be a little smart ass and get ahead of everyone else.

"Bella I asked you a question."

"Oh I was off in my own fucked up world could you repeat that."

"Bella don't swear and you know what you're acting like a smart ass so I am going to give you the test for this chapter now and if you don't get it right then you will have detention for a week."

"Oooo, scary. You know what sir that's fine but if I get 90% or more correct in this you have to leave me alone for a whole week. That included me coming in late and ignoring the way I talk."

"Fine we have a deal." He held out his hand for me to shake it.

"I am not shaking your hand I have no idea where it has been."

He gave me the test whilst he said "Just do the test Bella".

"Gladly, Oh and sir I am looking forward to you leaving me alone."

It took me 40 minutes to answer to answer all 20 questions. I found it so easy because when I study a chapter I always make sure that I read it several times so it gets stuck in my head. It is part of me being a smart ass. And I will always be like that because I get laughs out of it. I handed up my test with 20 minutes before the class was meant to end.

"Would you like me to mark it now because judging the amount of time it has taken you to do the test I think you should be picking your days for your detentions."

"Yes you can mark it now and well see about those detentions sir."

He marked the paper in 10 minutes before class was meant to go out. When he got to the end of the paper I couldn't believe his face. He knew that I had gotten every question right and that he had lost the bet. But I wasn't finished with him quiet yet.

"So sir how did I go? Did I pass?"

"You got every question right." He whispered barely loud enough for people to hear.

"Sorry what was that? I think you need to speak up."

He cleared his throat before he said "You got every question right."

"Oh well that's wonderful, I guess you can leave me alone for the next week then. Oh and sir next time be careful because when I get suspended for beating up someone I like to study. It's all part of the fucked up world that I live in."

I turned before the class and said "See you later fuckers and Jessica I like your black eye." I smiled as I walked to the door.

I turned before I went out of the class and said "Bye sir, see you when ever I want. I think ill be late for your next class. Well bye."

I walked out of class swinging my hips like a modal because I knew that it would leave an impression but also because I just wanted to keep acting like a smart ass. I mean it is not everyday that you get to beat a teacher at their own game. I walked through the hall way and to my car. I was still smiling when I left the school and drove home.

As soon as I walked into the house my depression hit me like a ton of bricks. I was just starting to feel good about myself again and then I come home and I remember what happened between Charlie and me. I screamed out loud and fell to the floor. I just couldn't take it. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I was about to start cutting when I just jumped in the shower. I didn't give a shit about getting undressed; I just needed to wash away my life and my feelings.

As soon as I took of my gloves and put my hands and arms under water I was reminded of what I had done yesterday and what I had done today. I looked down at my hands and I saw they were swollen; I had punched the locker really hard many times. I got really angry with the P.E. teacher just then because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be like this right now.

I stayed under the shower for what felt like hours but was only half and hour. When I got out I got dressed into new clothes and cleaned up my face because my eyeliner was running down my face. It wasn't long before Charlie came home. I had cleaned myself up by then and I looked normal. There would be no way that anyone would be able to tell that I had almost fully broken down.

There was no way that that was ever going to happen again so I decided that I would do all that I could to piss people off, act like a smart ass and ignore my feelings quickly by doing anything I could even if it included hurting myself. It would be the best thing for me because I could not face my past and myself.

That was Chapter 3 so I hope you are all enjoying it so far. I have been stuck with a few ideas about some things about my story but I am sure i can figure some things out.

Please review and tell me what you all think so I can get an idea about where Bellas life should be going.

Cheers,

M1SS NATT1E XD

**Here is the second Chapter so I hope you all enjoyed the first. I have tried to add some comady into this chapter as laughing always makes me happy. I hope you all enjoy.**


	4. Chapter 4

Hey everyone sorry for the length of time it has taken me to update but i have been really busy. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.

**There is a mix of laughter and sadness in this chapter so tell me what you think.**

****

**Stephenie Meyer owns it all I own nothing.**

* * *

For the last two months I had been doing all I could to forget about my old life by doing exactly what I had promised myself that I would do. I went on late night walks to get away from the Charlie and the house so my feelings could stay dormant. There would be no way that I would allow myself to break down again so I walked.

I went past my school a couple of times. I decided that one night I would tag the place by writing things like 'life is a card game' 'students can be smarter than teachers' 'Forks High sucks balls' 'there is no such thing as normal' and my all time favourite 'life sucks…deal with it'. I sprayed them everywhere, the windows, concrete, doors and even the roof. I was amazed that I would climb the roof to do it but then again I have been getting better with doing things like that.

I had started hitting lots of things to get my anger out. It works so well that I had decided to buy a punching bag with gloves. I had set it up under the carport outside. That was my new favourite area. When I felt like life was getting too much I would punch the shit out of the bag. It was the best way for me to deal but it didn't always do it for me so I still kept cutting my wrists because that was the best way for me to stay numb.

I didn't look at myself in the mirror anymore besides my face because I couldn't take what I was looking at. My whole body looked like it was wasting away and I just couldn't take the sight of it anymore. There was times when I had no choice that I had to look at myself in the mirror but right after I would cut. I got the idea stuck in my head that looking at myself in the mirror wasn't healthy.

I had a fight against Mike Newton again because he decided that I was looking like a whore. I was wearing my mini skirt with a white shirt that only when three quarters down my stomach. It let my belly button piercing show and my surface piercing show as well. I just wouldn't take that kind of shit from him now anyone so I did the only thing that I felt like doing at the time. I punched him in the stomach. Mike retaliated my backing me up into the wall and trying to shove me onto the floor. Well that really pissed me off so I grabbed his shoulders and shoved him into the opposite wall and kneed him in the balls. He immediately started to sink to the floor and I would have just let him go but he commented and called me a crazy anorexic emo who needed to be taught a lesson. The made me crack, I grabbed him and threw him against the other lockers and he fell to the ground. I kicked him in the stomach five times and before I walked off I yelled out so everyone could hear me 'yeah I am a fucking anorexic emo and I don't give a shit at least I can fight and protect myself'. I straightened myself up and walked out to the car looking like nothing had happened. Everyone looked shocked that I could just beat the shit out of someone and just act as if nothing had happened.

They were wrong though. As soon as I got home I went into the woods and punched the shit out of a tree. I did this until my hands were dripping with blood. I just felt so angry and I just couldn't stop myself from feeling like I was ripping into pieces.

It wasn't until the month after that I got a tattoo. I got angel wings tattooed just above my shoulder blades. They are spread out and they can be perfectly seen when I wear a tank top. Charlie was furious when he noticed it. We yelled so much and it finished with him saying 'You know what Bella do what ever you want, you are your own person. I don't give a shit anymore'. I walked out of the house and slammed the door. I was so angry with him that I felt like I wanted to just kill something. I walked all night until morning. I knew that if I went back to the house whilst he was there I would do or say something that I would regret.

Although I was angry I was actually proud of myself. I had gotten so used to myself pissing people off it was like an adrenaline rush. I lived for it. I had never known how good it was to have the adrenaline rushing through your veins. That was the reason why I kept doing what I did for the following month after that.

I decided to push the limits a bit by fucking everything up for other people as much as possible. I decided that it was stupid for certain 'people' that used to be in my life have this effect over me so I put chewing gum under the handles of people's cars so when they would open the door they would touch gum. I then moved on to putting stick bombs into classrooms and down hall ways. That always made me laugh so then I decided that I would put them in the air vents because it spread through all the rooms really quickly.

One of my favourite things was when I got a container of cockroaches and let them loose in the library. People were running everywhere and I had adrenaline running through my veins. I moved onto things that would take longer to scare people because people were becoming suspicious of me. I decided to buy a bunch of padlocks and a few lamb hearts and brains. I left them in several lockers in the school and padlocked them. It took a week for the smell to get that bad and the school decided to cut the locks. I would never forget the look on people's faces and the screams of students. Of course I couldn't let that show on my face because people would guess it was me but boy did I laugh so hard once I was out of the school.

My pranks calmed down after that because I knew if I kept going I would eventually get caught. I decided that I should move onto the plumbing of the school, I flushed 5 tampons down each toilet including the male toilets. I had to sneak into the toilets because I knew that if I were to get caught being in there I would be automatically accused for doing all the pranks in the school. It took two days before all the toilets to be backed up and when they found out what was blocking them I went into hysterics.

I stopped doing pranks after that one because Charlie had had a heart attack. He was on duty and driving down the highway when a guy on a motorbike cut right in front of him and fell on the road. Charlie drove right over the top of him almost killing him. Charlie had an instant heart attack and was rushed to hospital. It took a few weeks but he was finally getting stronger. I never cried because I just didn't know how to feel.

I helped Charlie get back on his feet, it took months for him to go back to work but he is working now. I knew that he would never be the same but at least he knew that I loved him and I knew he loved me.

I then started to try and get myself back together by eating more and controlling my anger and attitude. It didn't last long because I got into a fight with Tyler. He decided that it would be funny to make fun of my father having a heart attack. He said that if he didn't have a heart attack over the guy on the motorbike he would have one over me because of what I have become. I got so angry that I punched and kicked him so badly that he passed out.

That's why I am here right now. Eight months after Edward had left me 7 months and 3 weeks after Renee had died and 4 months and 3 weeks after Charlie had had a heart attack. I am standing on the edge of a cliff but not at La Push where I wanted to be but in Port Angeles. It is cold but I need to feel something. I don't want to die but I just need to get away. So I jump. I can feel the wind rushing through my hair and past my ears. It finally feels like I am flying. I am in the water now, fighting for air rushing for air. I am trying so hard to find my way up for air, my muscles are burning, my sight is going black and I pass out.

I wake up in my room, confused as to how I got here. My lungs hurt so I sit up and look at what I am dressed in. I am still wearing the same clothes but they are dry and I am tucked up in my bed. I look around my room and am shocked at who I see. Alice. She is sitting in the rocking chair and staring at me. I am confused as to what to say and I just keep staring. I finally decided to say something because I knew that she wouldn't wait forever.

"Hi Alice, it is good to see you."

She glares at me for a moment and then anger crossed her face. "Hi Bella what the fuck were you thinking?" She yelled so loud I had to cover my ears.

"Alice I was just cliff diving. I got into a fight and was angry so I decided to cliff dive."

"Cliff diving! Bella you looked like you were committing suicide! What is wrong with you? Also why were you fighting?"

"Nothing is wrong with me. I just needed a hit of adrenaline because I just couldn't take shit anymore. And I was fighting because Tyler thought it would be funny to make fun of Charlie having a heart attack. Why the fuck would you care anyway? You all left?"

"Oh shit Bella I am so sorry."

"Don't be, it is all part of life. We get dealt crap cards at points in our life. Now Alice what are you doing here?"

"Well I am here to try and save your ass from killing yourself."

"Well I didn't die so I guess you can leave now."

"On no Bella I am not leaving until you tell me what has happened since we have left."

My face expression must have shown so many different emotions because I was trying to work out in my head what to tell Alice. I knew she could see the future so she must have known at least a little bit but she just sat there waiting patiently. I decided to tell her almost everything; I left out the bit about how many piercings I had, my wrist cutting and my tattoo. I also didn't tell her about all of my pranks because I knew she would kill me.

When I finished her story she finally said "Bella I am so sorry that life has been going so badly for you. We never should have agreed to leave and if I knew that Renee had died I would have come straight away but Edward told me not to interfere in your life. I knew I should have never listened to him."

"Wait is he here because I don't think I could face him at the moment."

"No he hasn't been around much since we left. He checks in every once in a while but leaves after. It is like he is only half there, like the moon has been taken away. There is no life in him."

"Alice I am sorry. I hope everyone is doing okay and that he gets better. I guess you will be leaving now since you know what has happened and I don't want you to get in trouble with him for seeing me."

"I think I will stay a while, it looks like you need to get back on your feet anyway. Judging by how you look at the moment."

"Alice I am fine and you have no right to judge me. Life will get better and I am happy with who I am. I think it would be best if you leave."

"Bella I am not leaving you because that it the biggest pile of shit that I have ever heard come out of your mouth. Now I am going to go hunt and then I will be back. Can you stay out of trouble for an hour?"

She closed her eyes and took her time to think before she responded. "Yes you can, ill see you soon."

She was out of my room in seconds. I decided to take a shower and get myself looking more appropriate for when Alice came back. I knew that I had to be on my best behaviour because since Alice is a vampire I knew she wouldn't miss a thing and it is hard to hide anything. Lucky for me I have gotten really good at hiding my feelings.

I was in my room by the time that Alice got back. Her eyes were a beautiful golden colour but there was something wrong with her face. She looked scared, angry and worried. "Alice what's wrong?" I asked looking really annoyed.

"Bella it is Edward, he is coming here."

"Why?" I ask with the deadliest tone in my voice.

"He can't stand to be without you any longer and he has heard about what you have become and is set on putting you back together."

"How does he know I jumped off the cliff if he has not been around you guys for a while? Also how does he know about what I have become? One more this why the fuck would he care? He left me!"

"Rosalie called him and told him what you have done. She told him that you are anorexic and that you are harming yourself but cutting yourself. She said that you couldn't take living with the cards you are dealt after Renee's death and Charlie's heart attack. I told her not to tell him but she couldn't resist calling him to have a go at him for leaving you."

"Alice I think you should call Edward and tell him not to come here and to just let me live my life. He doesn't want me anymore and life will get better for me because I am starting to get back on track with my relationship with Charlie. I also think it would be best if you leave and don't return."

"Bella there is something else. Charlie is in a coma. He had another heart attack from a robber pointing a gun at him. The doctors don't think he will survive for every much longer. I am so sorry Bella and I am not leaving."

I just fell back on my bed. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My dad is in the hospital in a coma. The doctors don't think he will last long. Edward is coming here. I thought my life was complicated enough but man it just feels like it is one giant soap opera.

"Bella! Bella! Bella can you hear me? Bella!"

That's the last thing I hear until darkness again overtakes me.

* * *

**Well I hope you all enjoyed and those pranks that Bella did were just some of the pranks I did throughout my high school and my other friends did as well. We didn't do them all but other firends of friends did them. **

**Please review and tell me what you all think.**

**M1SS NATT!E XD**


	5. Chapter 5

****

****

Hey everyone thanks for the reviews. Just a couple of things I want to say. I am not anorexic and I have never been, i don't judge anyone if they are as it is their business.

**I am not a person with a 'I don't give a fuck' attitude like this Bella in this story has but I used to be like that. **

**I do not cut myself and again if there is anyone who read my story do, I do not judge. Your life is your life and I just write stories. **

********

I also do not smoke but I have tried it for three months straight but I never got addicted.

I am here to write stories that I like and I like this story a lot. This story has a touch of the 'dark side' and I like writing stories about that sort of thing.

Anyway again thank you for the reviews and please keep reading my stroy.

Stephenie Meyer own everything.

* * *

I must have passed out because when I woke up I was in a new room. I opened my eyes and I was lying on a queen bed. I knew exactly where I was, I was in Alice's room. Geez why can't people just leave me the hell alone! I thought to myself as I was getting out of the bed. I started walking down the stairs towards the front door quietly as I just wanted to go home. I reached the handle when a voice called out "There is no point trying to leave Bella I am way faster then you are."

I knew that voice it was Alice's. Why couldn't she just leave me alone?

"It doesn't hurt to try!" I yelled back and I started twisting the handle. I had the door open and was about to walk out when in a flash second I was in Alice's arms and the door was closed. She was walking towards the living room.

"Put me down Alice! It's not nice to man handle people, didn't anyone ever teach you to keep your hands to yourself?"

She didn't answer me but just smirked at my sarcastic comment. I froze when we walked in to the living room. The whole Cullen family was sitting down eying me. Alice popped me down and walked over to her place next to Jasper. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Edward were all now in a line watching me. I stood there and crossed my arms. Boy was I now angry with Alice I could not believe she didn't tell me that all of the family were coming home.

"Oh hell no Alice what the fuck! Is this some kind of a joke because it is not very funny! You know what; what ever I'm out of here. I need a cigarette." I started to turn around and walk back towards the front door. I took two steps before Jasper had me in his strong hold. He was sending calming waves through my body. I tried to fight him off but it was no good.

"Bella calm down

. We are not here to hurt you we just wanted to check up on you and see if we could help with anything. We heard about what had happened with Renee and Charlie and decided to pay you a visit." Jasper decided to let me go and stand next to Alice whilst he was talking but not before giving me a look that said 'try anything funny or try and leave and watch what happens'.

I stood there for a moment and decided that I really didn't want to even see any of them. "Oh well thank you for you hospitality and I appreciate the gesture but I am doing great so if you don't mind I think I will be leaving. Also there is nothing you can do so once I go home you can all just go back to where you have been for the past eight months because I from now on I don't want to have anything to do with any of you!"

I went to move towards the door again. I really needed a cigarette and all this stress is making me trip out. I got even further then last time but cold arms grabbed me before I could get any further. "What the fuck! Emmett put me the fuck down now! I am not a fucking toy that people can just pick up when ever they want. Oh and everyone fucking stop man handling me!" I said as Emmett had me over his shoulder and carried me towards the couch.

"The more you shove against me the more it will hurt Bella." Emmett said whilst holding me into place between his legs on the couch.

"Bella calm down. We just want to talk to you." Carlisle said.

"Oh really because at the moment it looks like I am being forced to talk to a group of _'people'_ that walked out of my life eight months ago. Well I don't feel like fucking talking. So let me go and get the fuck away from me. Oh and whilst you are at it _stay_the fuck away from me!"

"Bella please, just hear us out. Than we will let you leave." Alice said and she gave me a pout.

"No fuck you. Leave me the fuck alone!"

"BELLA THAT IS ENOUGH! SHUT UP AND LISTEN! BE SMART FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!" Rosalie had yelled at me. I knew I wasn't going to win so I just sat there.

"Fine I'll listen but first Emmett let me go, I really need a cigarette. I promise to hear you out and I won't leave until you are finished but I don't want to be forced to just sit here if I don't want to I like to be free to pace if I need to."

"Fine ill let you go but if you try to leave you will be forced to sit and listen no matter what."

He let me go and I made my way towards the stairs. I paused at the bottom of them. I realised that I have no idea if my bags would be here.

"Alice did you bring my handbag here or do I have to go home and get it?" I asked whilst not looking at any of them.

"It is in my room."

I walked up the stairs and made my way into Alice and Jaspers room. She was telling the truth because my handbag was on a chair. I grabbed my bag and descended the stairs. I rummaged through the bag looking for my packet of smokes and my lighter. I found it just as I reached the bottom step. I was making my way to the front door when Emmett said "Where are you going Bella?"

"I am going out side Emmett so I can have a cigarette. Were you not just paying attention?"

"Well I think I will join you outside just in case."

I was at the front door now and I looked back at him. I had a pissed look on my face. "Emmett do what ever the fuck you want. I don't give a shit. Not anymore."

I walked outside. I was at least 10 meters from the house. I didn't hear Emmett come outside but I knew he was here. I also had the feeling that there were still eyes on me. I knew the others were watching me from the inside of the house. I turned around and had my back to the house. I didn't even want to acknowledge that they were there.

I took out my cigarette and put the lighter to my face. I took my first puff and instantly I felt my whole body begin to calm.

The whole time I was having my cigarette I was focusing on calming down. I didn't want to go back into the house and face any of them but I knew I would have no choice. I finished my first cigarette and instantly lit another, I wasn't quiet calm enough and I hadn't had one in three days so I wanted to make sure that I was prepared. I finished my second cigarette rather quickly and I put my lighter in my cigarette packet. I took a few deep breaths of air before I turned around.

I made my way slowly towards the Cullen house as I didn't want to go in there. I put my packet of smokes which held my lighter in my bag and turned to took at the living room. Everyone except Emmett was exactly where they were when I left. I stood exactly where I did not want to move any closer to where they were. It didn't last long as a pair of cold hands came down on my shoulders and moved me back towards that couch. I knew it was Emmett as everyone else was already in the room.

Emmett turned me around and made me sit between his legs again so that if I tried to escape he could just hold me into place.

"Well lets hurry up and get this over with." I said as I knew it was inevitable.

"Bella you know that if I knew that Renee had died or if you would end up having your life turn out like this I would have come back. I didn't want to leave you. You don't deserve nor did you deserve for your life to be turning out like it has." Alice said whilst eyeing me with a very sorry glance. I looked at Esme and she has the same expression, Emmett to. Jasper looked sorry but also confused because I knew he was feeling my emotions spilling out of my body.

"I love you Bella, I am sorry for leaving you. I just didn't want this life for you. But I never wanted things to happen like they have in your life. I am so sorry." Edward eyed me when he was talking to me. He had a face expression that looked like he was in pain.

"Bella can you forgive us for all of what has happened?" Esme spoke to me this time and everyone just waited for me to respond.

I couldn't just sit there with everyone eying me. So I got up and Emmett went to get up at the exact time that I did. "Let her walk Emmett, she isn't going to go anywhere yet." Alice said with a positive expression. Emmett sat back down and I started to slowly pace.

I took about two minutes before I said anything. "I forgive you all. But there is nothing really to forgive. I was just unlucky because life dealt me a, excuse my language Esme, fucked up stack of cards. You left because Edward told you to and he left because he didn't want me to because a vampire. I get it I do so my life has turned out like it is because of what I have made it. And I am doing fine. You all shouldn't be here anyway I am not meant for your world so I think it best if you all just leave."

"We're not leaving Bella and I am happy you forgive us, but that it the biggest pile of shit I have ever heard in my life. You say you are doing fine but have you seen yourself in a mirror. You are anorexic, you have a tattoo, a tone of piercings, black hair and you wear all black clothes. Do I even have to mention that you punch the shit out of your nickels and you are cutting your wrists? So don't even try to pull the whole _I am fine thing_ when clearly you're not. It is time for a wake up call Bella because you are about to get a hell of a one."

I looked at Rosalie shocked. I could not believe that she had just said that to me. I mean she of all people hated me and yet this is what she says. Everyone eyed her with shock.

"Common guys you were all thinking it and she had to eventually hear it. I mean none of you guys were going to say it so I just thought I would to the honours." Rosalie looked angry. She just went back to staring at me.

"I think I have had enough and Rosalie go to hell! My life has nothing to do with any of youse. Just go back to where you were before because I was doing fine. Oh and I am not anorexic. Fucking vampires think they know fucking know everything." I muttered the last part under my breath.

"Oh really tell me Bella how much do you weigh?"

"Fuck you that is how much I weigh. Fucking ice queen bitch."

Rosalie stood in an instant and came face to face. "How much do you weigh Bella?" She sneered at me as if warning me to answer her correctly or else.

"50 kilos."

"Bullshit. I can see from here that you weigh between 40 and 45 kilos. Don't lie to me and stop lying to yourself because it doesn't help your situation."

I went to walk out at that point when I was grabbed again by cold hands. I tried so hard to fight but it was no use. Emmett was way too strong for me and I was forced to sit back down again.

"Leave me alone and get your hands off me Emmett!"

"Bella that's enough!" Carlisle yelled.

I stopped fighting Emmett straight away and sat there looking at Carlisle.

"You are going to clam down and listen to me. Do you understand?'

I just nodded.

"Things have gone on too far in your life and I can tell that your attitude is becoming out of hand. You will be staying with us until you get your life back on track. You will be under strict rules and failure to comply will result in discipline. You have been free to do what ever you want for too long and harming yourself is something that will cease from now on. You will also be eating regular meals to gain more weight because you look like you are going to disappear in a matter of seconds. You will also show respect whilst you are here because I know you were brought up to respect your elders and all of us here are over 80 years older then you if not more."

I sat there shocked. Carlisle was actually making me stay here. He was going to make me do what he says and if I didn't comply I would be disciplined. I wasn't going to stand for this. There was no way I would be staying here, not against my will anyway.

"There is no way I am staying here. You can't keep me here against my will. And me disappear in a matter of seconds talk about your selves I wasn't the one who packed their life up in the middle of the night and fucking left me."

"Bella we are all sorry for that but you are staying here and you are just going to deal with it. Now Emmett can you please pass Bella to Edward so he can take Bella upstairs so I can access the damage that has been done."

Before I knew it I was in Edwards arms. He was taking me upstairs when he paused half way up the stairs. I looked confused but then I heard Emmett say "Hey Bella just before you go tell me how many piercings you have?"

I could not believe he was asking me this; it wasn't that I didn't want to answer but did he have to ask me now. I thought well if I was going to be here against my will I might as well make it fun.

"I will give you a clue Emmett it is between 10 and 15. I don't know if you will guess correctly because I am not sure if you can count that high." I decided to smile because when it came to Emmett I just had to laugh.

"I am guessing eleven. Am I right?"

"No it is thirteen but good guess though."

I saw Emmett think for a second but then he said "Where do you even put them all?"

Rosalie hit him then and Jaspers expression just fell. "Things change Emmett; I am not the same person I used to be. Wouldn't you like to know where they all are?"

I was upstairs in seconds and on Edwards's bed before I knew it. The door was closed and he was standing in front of me. He looked really angry. Good I thought now you know how I feel because I certainly don't want to be here and if you don't like the new me then feel free to leave.

"Look Edward before you say anything I am sorry. I know you may think that I am just doing what I am to get attention but I am not. I didn't do this because of the fact that you left. I can't tell you exactly why but it wasn't because of you guys."

I watched him take in my words. His expression didn't change much but I knew he was really angry with me but also with himself.

"Bella I am sorry. I should have never left you. I thought it would be better if I were to just make everything a clean cut and just leave. I didn't and I still don't want this life for you. I am really sorry about what had happened to Renee I know that must have been hard for you and I am really sorry about Charlie. Bella you doing all this to yourself are only going to make things worse, you need to stop. This is why we are keeping you here so we can help you. If we just leave no one is sure about what you will do and you are still part of this family. I love you Bella and I am not leaving you."

I was angry at first because he was siding with Carlisle. I didn't want to stay here; I was doing fine before they left. I love Edward still with all my but I don't want to get help.

"Edward I love you with all my heart, I love you all. So please don't make me stay here. I will straighten up at home. Just leave were not meant to be in each others worlds."

"No Bella you are staying here and I am not going to leave you. This is for your own good and you need to come to terms with what has happened."

"You can't make me stay here. I will find ways to leave. I am so much smarter then what you think. Edward things have changed since you all have left. I am not the old innocent Bella anymore. I will never be her again."

"Oh I can see that. The old Bella wouldn't do what you have done to yourself. The old Bella would never talk to Charlie the way you have. The old Bella would never get suspended from school. I believe you when you say that you are not the old Bella, but you are going to stay here and you are going to get better. It would be best if you just learn that now instead of later. Believe me, you are my mate and there is no way I want to see you punished for your mistakes but unfortunately I know it is for your own good."

Carlisle walked through the door just then and he was carrying with him his medical kit. I still could not believe this was going on. I didn't want to do this.

"Edward may you please leave while I access the damage that has been inflicted on Bella please." Carlisle asked in a cool tone.

"Yes Carlisle, I will be down stairs if you need me."

"Thank you son."

Edward went to leave but just before he did I called out "Please Edward don't make me do this please."

"It is for your own good."

"Fuck you Edward Cullen!"

Carlisle was walking up to me and he sat next to me with his medical kit in on the floor. "Now Bella we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way involves you doing as I say and it won't hurt that much or the hard way and I get someone else up here to hold you down."

"I hate you Carlisle! This is completely unnecessary. Why can't you all just leave me alone!"

"I will take that as the hard way then. Emmett can you please come in here."

"Yes Carlisle?"

"Could you please restrain Bella whilst I access the damage that she has done to herself."

"Certainly." Emmett had his arms around me in a flash holding me down. I didn't say anything but I did put up a fight.

"Now Bella I am going to strip you down to your bra and underwear so I can get a good look at you. I am going to make notes as to what has happened and you are going to answer my questions. Is that clear?"

"Yes Carlisle." I knew there was no point fighting him. So I just let him do what he wanted.

"Bella can you please strip down for me? If you don't ill get Emmett to do it for you."

I nodded. I stripped down to my bra and undies. I decided to leave on my gloves though because I even didn't want to see the damage. Emmett gasped when he saw all my piercings. Carlisle just shock his head.

"Bella I can only see 11 piercings. Where are the other two?" Emmett decided to ask me.

"Well Emmett if I don't tell you Carlisle is going to strip me down even more so I guess I have no choice. One is in my left nipple and the other is in my clit."

"Geez Bella you are out of control."

"Leave me alone Emmett. No one asked for your opinion."

"Bella I have checked all your piercings besides the other two and your tattoo to make sure they are not infected. I will check the other two in a moment. Now I need you to take off the gloves. I need to check your cuts." Carlisle said this with a calm voice.

"No Carlisle, I can't do that." I said whilst jumping off the bed and running towards the door.

"Emmett." That was all he said.

Emmett dragged my back to the bed and made me sit between his legs. He was holding my arms out for Carlisle so he could take my gloves off.

Carlisle followed us to the bed and started to take my gloves off. He paused for a moment and told Emmett to hold his breath as there may be blood. He continued and eventually got both off. I closed my eyes because I didn't want to look. I was still trying to fight against Emmett for him to let me go, but of course it was no use.

"Bella what have you done? They are really bad. And some of them are infected. I am going to have to clean them up and it is going to hurt."

I just sat there unable to move whilst he was rummaging through his bag. All of a sudden I felt a sting in my arm. I knew it was a needle.

"Bella I just put morphine into you so you don't feel what I am about to do."

I kept my eyes closed whilst he cleaned my cuts. I started to relax against Emmett and he eventually relaxed his grip. He started rubbing my shoulders to try and calm my feelings down. I didn't really hate any of them but I just didn't want to do this recovery stuff because I know it will be hard. Carlisle wrapped up my arms.

"Now Bella I am going to get Emmett to remove your bra so I can look at your nipple piercing."

I started to struggle again but Carlisle held my arms this time. "Bella I won't look I promise." Emmett said as he unhooked the clasp.

I had tears running down my eyes. I hated this. This is now meant to be happening to me. I am a fighter and yet I am crying.

"Okay Bella it looks fine." Carlisle said as Emmett was hooking the clasp of my bra back up.

"Now I am going to have to check the other one so I am going to get a sheet and put it around you. Than I will remove your underwear so I can check it. Okay."

I couldn't speak. I just nodded so he knew I understood.

Emmett leaned back and twisted his arms in mine so he could have a secure hold on me. I was now leaning against Emmett's chest securely locked in his hold.

Carlisle dropped a sheet over my stomach and he grabbed my underwear and slid them down. I kept my legs closed because I didn't want to go any further.

"Bella I know this is hard but I need you to spread your legs for me." Carlisle said in a calm whisper.

I spread them a little but I couldn't go any further. Carlisle put his hands on my inner thighs and spread them open more. He was very quick. I only felt his cold touch for a minute and then I had my underwear back on.

"You did very well Bella now I want you to get some sleep. I will see you in the morning." Carlisle said as was packing up his medical kit.

"Bella just remember that we love you very much and that we are here to help you. I will see you in the morning." Emmett said as he walked out the door.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed chapter five. I really liked writing it. If you don't understand anything please review and I will try to explain.**

**Thank you, **

**M1SS NATT1E XD**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I woke up screaming. Everyone was in the room looking at me. "What happened Bella?" Edward asked me with worry on his features. I was just about to answer him when a thought crossed my mind. I couldn't remember. It was like my dream was wiped out of my memories. I didn't notice that I was shaking and gasping for air until Carlisle was telling me to breath. I tried to take in air into my lungs but nothing came in. What was happening to me? This isn't normal. I suddenly felt Carlisle hit my lungs causing me to take in air. I sat there gasping for air. "Bella are you okay? What happened?" Edward asked.

"I….don't….know? I….can't…..remember." I said whilst still gasping for air. I searched for an answer but I came up blank.

"Jasper what is she feeling?" Carlisle asked.

"Fear, she is frightened. She does remember what happened though but she is confused by what she is remembering. Anger is still there and regret." Jasper answered whilst looking at me.

"Bella what happened?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know? I passed out after you gave me morphine and then I woke up screaming. I was dreaming. But I can't remember what about." Anger crossing my face and then I was struck with realisation of what had happened. Charlie, he was laying in the hospital bed and the hospital, staff were trying to save him. He died. But it couldn't happen. It was only a dream.

"I need to go." I got up that instant and I realised what I was wearing. My bra and underwear. Everyone was shocked when they finally saw the result of what I had become.

"Bella your skin and bones." Esme pointed out.

"Look I don't have time for this conversation, there is somewhere else I have to be."

"Where Bella do you need to be? What did you dream?" Edward asked in a calm voice.

"You don't need to know. It is my business. Now stay out of it!"

"NO! You are not going anywhere until you explain to us what happened." Edward said.

"Fuck you! I run my own life and you all just can't waltz back into it like nothing happened and start giving me orders! I am not a fucking play thing or a pet. Just fuck off!"

"Bella we know you aren't a play thing or a pet and we don't intend to treat you like one. We want to help you. We all care about you so much that we can't just stand here and watch you kill yourself. We are trying to help you." Carlisle said in a caring tone.

"I get it I do but right now I really need to go."

I was starting to get dressed when Edward said "I am coming with you."

"No you're not. I am going alone and you aren't stopping me."

Everyone was silent for a moment until I saw Alice's face. She had been searching the future. Judging by what I saw I knew she had the answer to whether my dream was true or not. Charlie is going to die.

"Alice I don't want to know what you just saw because I have a feeling that it is an answer to the dream I just had. I need to go."

Realisation crossed their faces and they agreed with me.

"You are coming back here after. There is no way you are going to be by yourself and if you try anything Alice will see." Edward announced sternly. I knew he already knew what Alice saw.

"Actually Edward I have decided that I am going to have two days without any of you interfering in my life."

"Oh no you're not Bella; you are a walking time bomb." Edward was slowly getting angry.

"Edward if Charlie does die today I need time to be by myself to sort things out. Then I will turn myself over to you and you can do what every you see fit because I won't have anything left to live for."

I sat back down on the bed. I was now fully dressed in my skinny leg jeans, my hair was done and my makeup was finished.

"I will be at school a little later. I am going to have my two days aka 48 hours without any of you guys interfering in my life. Do we have a deal?"

"Agreed you can go now and we'll see you at school." Alice said.

"I'll talk to you all in 48 hours. Bye".

I walked out of the house then and I walked to the hospital. It wasn't that far away and I needed the fresh air. Whilst I was walking I started to think about the last 10 minutes. I had a dream about Charlie dying in the hospital. When I thought that my life was fucked up before well boy was I wrong. Nothing is making sense to me at the moment. I just don't understand. I am not used to my life being a surprise anymore. I have gotten used to me controlling everything around me. I don't like having my will power taken away from me. Unfortunately that was the reasons why I turned into the nightmare that my life is now. I do want to get better, but I don't want to become a vampire, I don't want to be part of their family and I don't love Edward but I can't just admit this to them with proper meaning. I have gotten too used to the idea that I don't give a fuck about anything. It just didn't make sense.

I arrived at the hospital and hour before school was meant to start. I walked into Charlie's room and I was so scared about what I was going to say to him. I knew he was in a coma but I still needed to talk to him.

He was lying there peacefully. He didn't look like he was in pain. I sat on the bed next to him. I grabbed his hand and started to say what had to be said. "Dad I love you. I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I should have never spoken to you the way that I did. I need you to hold on dad. You mean the world to me. You are all I have now. Please dad, please don't go." Tears were running down my face. I knew that there wasn't a lot of time left. So I finished telling dad that I would always remember him and no matter what happens to me both him and Renee will always be in my heart. I stayed there for 5 more minutes because his heart finally gave up. The hospital staff did all they could but I knew it was no use.

I kissed him on the head and I walked back home. I had an hour before school started so I went into the shower. I had a longer one then usual as I felt really disgusting and grotty. I dried off quickly and grabbed my skinny legs, Nikes, black t-shirt with the white writing that said 'If you think I'm a bitch, wait till you meet my mother'. It wasn't as cold today but I decided to grab my black hoodie with a picture of the grim reaper on the back that glows green and blood dripping from his weapon in his hand.

I straightened my hair and did my makeup that looked even more 'emo' then ever. I really wanted to stay at home but I realised that there was no point sitting and sobbing around the house when I just needed to get my life back together.

I fixed up my makeup and I decided that for the next 48 hours my heart will be frozen solid. I would not let anyone get to me. I would live my life as if nothing had happened. I arrived at school 10 minutes before the bell and I noticed all the Cullens arrive in the parking lot. They were looking at me with faces that looked like they were going to cry. I just put my head phones in my ear and turned on my iPod to Eminem W.T.P (White Trash Party). I loved listening to Eminem. He taught me how to feel and it helped to clam me down. I turned it up and put my hood over my head so no one would see my face.

I walked my way over to my first lesson which was biology. Everyone was staring at me like they always do but I just ignored them. I sat down in my usual seat and I got out my note book and started sketching. I started to draw a picture of Charlie and me hugging each other. It wasn't until I felt a cold hand on my back that I noticed Edward was there. Then I whispered into his ear "I have two days." Then I got up and started to walk out. I got 2 metres from the door when the teacher said "Miss Swan where do you think you are going?"

"Oh well sir I have already passed up my work for this chapter so I think I might skip this lesson."

"No you're not Bella you are going to sit down in your seat and pay attention."

I just laughed. I loved it when people and teachers try to tell me what I am going to do. It just makes my remarks to them much more interesting. "And what are you going to do about it if I don't?"

"I will call the principal who will call Charlie and he will be asked to come down here and collect his daughter."

Big mistake, that just made me really pissed. I slammed my hand down really hard on a desk before I said "Well that's going to be hard now isn't it? You see Charlie died this morning from a heart attack so if you don't mind I am leaving now before you try and destroy my life anymore okay."

He didn't say anything. Everyone just eyed me and I could tell they felt sorry for me. I couldn't look at Edward because I knew he would follow me. I walked out and punched a few lockers right before I just screamed. I was so furious. I walked all the way home. I had my iPod turned up so I couldn't hear anything. I went straight to the garage and started punching my punching bag. It felt so good to get my anger out. I kept punching until I felt tired.

Once all my anger was out I decided that I didn't want to stay home so I made my way back to school. It was the lesson before lunch and I had a free period. I decided to make things interesting for people when they come outside. I climbed a tree and went onto the roof of the veranda and then I continued to climb the drainage poll until I reached the roof. I sat on the edge and started having my cigarette. I had about two puffs when the bell rang. I got up and decided to walk around the roof to admire the work I had previously done. I loved my signage, it is so me.

I could hear that people were gathering around in there groups and so I decided that it was time to take my plan one step further. I needed people to see that I didn't give a shit about the rules anymore so I grabbed my packet of smokes and took one out. I sat on the edge of the roof and noticed that the Cullens making there way outside. From where I was sitting it looked as if Emmett and Jasper was asking why they were outside and they finally got there answer when Alice pointed. They all looked pissed and to show them that I didn't care I just lit my cigarette.

"MISS SWAN WOULD YOU MIND COMING DOWN HERE, THE ROOF IS NOT A SAFE PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO BE!" One of the teachers yelled.

"NO!"

"MISS SWAN I CAN'T HAVE YOU SITTING ON THE ROOF. IT IS AGAINST SCHOOL POLICY!"

"THAT IS FINE SIR, ILL STAND INSTEAD!" I got up and stood half a meter from the edge.

"BETTER!"

"MISS SWAN IT IS NOT BETTER AND YOU KNOW IT! NOW COME DOWN THIS INSTANT!"

"NO I WILL COME DOWN AFTER LUNCH. BYE!"

I took one last look at the crowd and noticed that all the Cullens were not outside any more. I walked to the other side of the roof and sat down. It was peaceful. The wind was blowing and there was no one to distract me. I couldn't feel anything. I felt completely numb. I didn't even feel alive. It was like you could say anything to me, do anything to me and it couldn't hurt me. I was alive but yet I was dead at the same time.

I was lost in my own thoughts until I felt all these emotions surging through me. Love, hate, peace, sadness, scariness, frightened, lonely, torture, torment, happiness and much more. It was overpowering my body, forcing me to wake up from being numb. I tried to scream but it came out muffled. I was in agony. My body and mind weren't working as one anymore. Then it stopped. I was gasping for air and I tried to move so I could open up my lungs but there was something stopping my. I looked around to see what was stopping me from moving. Jasper was holding me. He had an angry but sorry expression on his face. What the hell did he just do to me? I was about to ask when I remembered that I still couldn't breath properly. I tried to struggle out of his grip so I could get air into my lungs but it didn't work.

"Jasper she needed to breath. Let her more a little so she can force air into her lungs." It was a smoothing voice. It sounded like Alice's but I couldn't be sure. I tried to look and see but my vision was going black from the lack of oxygen.

I was finally able to move and I laid on my back and beat my chest really hard. I was forcing air into my lungs. My vision was still black but I was finally getting air into my lungs again. Boy was I going to be angry when I could talk. They are going to get a mouthful from me.

"What…the…fuck…did…you…do…to….me?"

"I am sorry about that but I couldn't feel any emotions coming from you. It was like you weren't there, so I guessed you were doing the whole let's stay numb thing so I grabbed you and made you feel every emotion at once. Your body was starting to shut down and there was no other choice." Jasper said this all rather calmly but even though I couldn't see properly quiet yet I knew he was angry.

"I can't see properly. Why?"

"Ahh yes well as emotions are feelings that mixed with the feeling of the body your mind helps you understand them. As I took you by surprise your brain is trying to catch up on what happened. You will be able to see in like 5 minutes."

I sat up as I had gotten enough air into my system. I could almost see properly. I noticed that Alice was next to me, she was searching the future. Jasper was a bit further away but still close and Edward was behind me. I was actually leaning into him but I just didn't realise it until now as my body was catching up.

After a few moments I could see clearly. My whole body felt like it was normal except that I didn't feel numb anymore. I felt anger and sadness. Jasper had made me realise my emotions and I didn't like it.

"What the fuck Jasper! I didn't want to feel anything and now all I can feel is anger that you did this to me and sadness. It is going to take me ages to not feel again. Don't ever do that again!"

"Bad luck Bella! You are not going to be in your zombie state anymore. Once this 48 hours is up you will get as many as I see fit emotion wake up calls until I see proof that you are getting better. There is not point fighting it because you will lose." His expression was that of a vampire. He was being down right serious.

"Well I still have the rest of today and tomorrow so you can't do that again to me."

"Bella if I see you doing that again to yourself you will feel it ten times worse. Don't argue with me when I am in this state!"

"Fuck you!" I got up and started my descend from the roof. It took me a minute to reach the ground. I turned around to walk to my next class when the teacher caught me.

"Miss Swan I see you made it down off the roof. Want to tell me why you were up there?"

I did so not want to answer to anyone at the moment and I really didn't want to be here anymore. I knew that it would be best if I just answered so I didn't have to prolong my talk. "Well I thought some kid threw one of my books on the roof and so I went up there to look for it. I didn't see it so I just sat on the side of the roof until I was ready to have another look."

"Okay well off the record I don't believe you but on the record as you have had a hard time lately I will let it slip but please remain on the ground for the remainder of the year during school."

"No problem sir have a good day."

"You to Miss Swan."

I could not believe I actually got away with that. I started to make my way towards English. The bell had gone and I was late by three minutes by the time I reached the class. Luckily for me the teacher was also running late. I walked into class and took my seat. Everyone was eying me but I didn't care. I sat next to Edward who was on my right and Jasper who was on my left. Their expressions didn't give anything away but I knew I was in shit.

Nothing interesting happened for the first half of the class. It wasn't until there was a piece if paper in front of me that the shit finally came down.

_You are in so much trouble when these 48 hours is up. I am so sorry about Charlie but Bella I don't want to lose you. So understand when I say if you ever try that stunt again you will have to endure the wrath of not just Carlisle but me as well. I love you._

I read the note rather quickly. Who the fuck does he think he is. I have fucking lost my whole family and this is what I get. Well he can get fucked. I wrote back quickly as I didn't want to get caught.

_Edward I say this with love GET FUCKED. You aren't my father and you can't tell me what to do. I love you with all my heart but you just can't expect me to be the person I was. Too much has happened since then and I don't know if I will ever be close to her again. I want to get better believe me when I say that but I am not like a jigsaw where every piece will fit together properly. I am never going to be complete. I have bad habits at the moment that need to be broken but you just can expect me to drop them all at a click of your fingers. My mind will tell me that I need to do what ever I can to get what my body is telling me I need. Just stop being so hard on me because I feel like you are being a ass and right now I really need a boyfriend that is supportive. And that person is you seeing as, as of this morning you are my fiancé._

I passed him the note but I kept my head straight. I had 10 minutes left until it was time for me to go home.

_We will talk more about this later. I don't even need to ask if you still want this 48 hour thing because I can see it now that I know you need it. If you need me please call. I love you._

I read his note and just nodded. There was still 8 minutes left and I thought I might as well try to fix things with Jasper. I know he is trying to help me but I still didn't think he had to be that harsh.

_Jasper I am sorry for going off at you back there. You just took me by surprise and I got really angry. Please forgive me._

I passed him the note. He read and replied really quickly.

_Bella I forgive you but I am still keeping my word. I meant_ _what I said. I will force you to get better if I have too. We all care about you too much. I know today is extremely hard on you but I am not just going to stand there and watch you fade away into nothing. If you think you are going through hell now then think again. I have had a taste of it and it is nothing compared to what you are going through. You need to pull those protective barriers down around you because if you don't I will bring them down myself. This is the only way you can get better. I know you might hate us all at times when we are taking control of your life but know that we are trying to help you._

I read the note rather quickly. There was only five minutes left and I didn't want to be the last one out. I was angry at first when I read the note. I understood though but I was still pissed. This shit wouldn't have to happen if I could have just been good. I don't know if they would have come back or if they would have stayed if I was though but the point still stands. If I didn't turn into a rebel I wouldn't have to be dealing with facing my worst nightmare. The nightmare of facing myself.

The bell rand then and I got up quickly. I didn't turn round I just kept of walking. I put my hoodie on and I walked right out of the school grounds. I was beginning to fall apart. I couldn't do that here. I was scared. For the first time in a long time I was actually scared to face myself. I arrived home and ran up stairs. I stripped and went into the shower. I needed to just wash away everything from today. I really wanted to have Edward just sitting here with his arms wrapped around me. I needed to feel secure in his arms. But he wouldn't come because I told him that none of them could interfere in my life for two days and I knew it would be best. It was going to be hell getting my life back together and I just needed two days to straighten myself out.

I got out of the shower and dried off. I looked at myself in the mirror. I screamed so loud that the cabinet mirror in the bathroom actually shock. "This is all your fucking fault." I screamed at my reflection. I hated myself so much. I didn't know exactly what caused me to do it but I punched the glass with my right hand. There was glass everywhere. I was gasping for air, trying to calm myself down. My hand and knuckles were covered in cuts. There was a lot of blood but I knew it just looked worse then it did because the floor was wet. I rinsed my hand under water and bandaged it up.

I fell asleep from exhaustion. The last thing that I thought was what would tomorrow bring?


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I woke up with a splitting head ache. I could feel the dry tears from the night before and the dry blood all over my arms. I got up and had another shower. I was surprised that none of the Cullens had come here. I thought Alice would see what had happened at the very least and Carlisle would have come over. I got dressed in my black leggings, black tank top and I decided that I would put my mini skirt over the top. I just wanted to have one more day with wearing my favourite clothes before my life changes. I made sure that my hair was severely straight. People could see my tattoo and my tank top only came down three quarters down my stomach. I wanted people to see the Bella Sawn at her extreme. I painted my nails black and my eyeliner was really thick. I had a feeling that today I would go out with a bang because it was just the way I wanted to say goodbye to the old/new me. After today I was going to be saying goodbye and I will start my recovery.

I decided that the cuts on my arm and hand from last night weren't deep enough to need a bandage so I left it bare. They looked fare deep but I don't care. I knew that even though the cuts were made last night that the Cullens would still be able to smell it. They weren't that deep so Jasper would be able to control himself. I doubles checked my appearance before I left the house and I knew I looked like an anorexic slut and emo but like I had thought before I wanted to go out big.

I arrived at school 15 minutes early. The Cullens were waiting for me just to make sure I was okay. I looked in the mirror at myself and said "Remember our deal I have until 12 midnight until you are allowed to interfere in my life. I love you all but this is what I need to do."

I got out of the car and I watched their expressions. There was shock and anger. I walked past them and I could hear growls coming from Edward. I just said "I am going out with a bang." As I walked past. I swear I heard Edward say "You are in so much trouble when you get home." I just laughed and said "Bite me."

I was actually enjoying this. I knew that there would be major consequences but that was the idea. I loved the thrill. When I walked into the hall way to go to English I noticed everyone gasp and move out the way of me. I heard snickers and comments about my tattoo. I just loved the thrill of my last day before I had to turn myself over to the Cullens and I knew that they would make me open up about everything. They would rip open my stitches. I would be in what felt like torture so this is part of what I needed to do.

The day passed and I decided that I really needed to step up my game. I walked in to the lunch room and sat at a table by myself. I decided to take my gloves of to reveal my cuts and scars. I knew the Cullens would be watching but I didn't care. I walked past Jessica Stanley's table when I heard Lauran make a comment.

"Geez Bella you are really looking like an emo slut today. Is there a special occasion as to why you are?"

I smiled and said "Actually there is Lauran; today is the day I beat the shit out of you in front of the whole school because you have had it coming for ages."

"What ever Bella, you can try but you won't get very far. And stop using your parents' death as an excuse to act and look like you do. No one cares what you think anymore Bella Swan, not anymore."

In that instant I grabbed Lauran and shoved her onto another table. She started to punch me but she didn't get very far as I had her pinned down. I punched her in the stomach two times. She gasped for air. She shoved me off of her and I fell to the ground. I got up so quickly and I shoved at her again. This time I had her against the wall.

She slapped me across the face and I just laughed. "Boy Lauran is that all you got. Are you going to go for the hair pulling next?" Lauran was a good fighter and I knew that. But the thing was I was better. I twisted my leg against hers and dropped her. She fell really hard to the ground. I made sure that she didn't hit her head though because I didn't want to kill her. She pulled me down on top of her. I was straddling her, I went to punch her in the face when cold hands wrapped around me and pulled me off. I thought it was Edward at first but it was Emmett. It tried to struggle against him but there was no luck. "Let go of me Emmett I am not finished with her yet."

"There is no way I am letting you go. You are a hazard on two feet."

Lauran called out at that moment and said "Can't finish a fight for yourself boy you are an emo slut."

"This isn't over bitch."

Emmett dragged me out of the lunch room and made me stand near the car whilst my anger was flaring.

"Let me go Emmett. You aren't meant to get involved in my life until after 12 midnight tonight."

"No fucking way. Where did you learn to fight like that anyway? You are one dangerous woman. Deals off by the way, you finally went too far by dressing like you did and acting like you did."

"That's not fair. This is bullshit. Let me go!"

The rest of the Cullens walked out in that instant and I felt a wave of calm. Jasper was using his ability to calm me down. I hated when he did that. I struggled against Emmett to try and get away. Edward noticed me struggling and took hold of me. I was thrown in the back of the Volvo with Edward on my left and Emmett on my right. Edward held onto my right hand and Emmett held onto my left. I knew there was no point struggling against them because I wouldn't be able to.

No one talked on the ride home and I knew I would be in a lot of trouble. Edward looked over my right arm as that was the one that went through the mirror. Carlisle would kill me. When we got to the Cullens house I stepped out of the Volvo only to have Edward lift me up bridal style and bring me into the house. He dropped me on the couch and told me if I knew what was good for me to sit down and be quiet.

So now I am sitting on the couch and waiting for Carlisle to come home. I knew that I was in trouble but I just didn't know how much. I grabbed my iPod and turned it onto Eminem and Rihanna Love the way you lie. I sat there waiting for what seemed forever. I turned my arms over and looked at what I had done. I felt bad now. I was so stupid. I just don't know who to deal anymore. I need to get my life back on track but I just don't want to give it up. It is part of my pain relief. It is how I express what I am feeling.

Carlisle must have walked in because my earphones were out of my ears and Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice were all in the room. I guessed Esme was out hunting because I don't think she would want to be here for this.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked looking at me.

I let out a sigh and said "Well you see I was minding my own business when I got into a fight with Lauran and Emmett came and took me off her. Now I am here. The end"

"Not funny Bella. Why did you get into a fight?"

"I don't think it is funny either Carlisle and I got into a fight because she said to stop using your parents' death as an excuse to act and look like I do. She said that no one cares. Oh and she called me a slut but I let that slide because I do look like one but that is beside the point. She deserved everything she got and if Emmett didn't pull me off I would have had her begging for me to let her go. She is a whore and the whole school knows it."

"Bella that language stops now! This is not a joke anymore. You seriously need help. Now I can smell blood on you and it is yours. How did it get there?"

"I couldn't deal last night I wasn't paying attention and I was in the bathroom. I screamed to my reflection yelling 'its all your fault'. I punched the bathroom mirror by accident. I didn't know exactly what came over me. I was just looking at myself and the next thing I knew my fist went through the glass. But that is not the issue. I had 48 hours without any of you interfering with my life. Lauran and I were just blowing off some steam. It is not a big deal. Geez it's not like the world is going to end "

"Right, well at least you are being truthful. Now I am sorry about Charlie and Renee but as of now you are my adopted daughter. The forms have been signed and approved. This cutting stops now, you will dress in what we tell you and you will follow instructions that you are given. Is that clear?"

"This is shit you are not my father and I am old enough to make my own decisions. Edward please say something."

"Bella this is for your own good. You chose your choices and they were bad now you have to deal with the consequences. I love you but there is no way that I am going to just watch you throw your life away."

"I am not a child and there is not way I am going to let any of you treat me like one. I am capable of living my own life and I am not going to throw my life away."

"Bella when you stop acting like a child then you can be treated like an eighteen year old. Until then you will do as you get told!"

I just sat there looking pissed. Edward and Carlisle were right I was acting like a child but this is just ballshit.

"Hey Bella I just want to let you know that when you become a vampire I would love to go up against you in a fight. I have a feeling I would be a little scared because you looked like one scary bitch" Emmett and Jasper laughed just then and I couldn't help but laugh myself. Edward glared at him and Rosalie just hit him which then caused Alice to laugh. Carlisle just stood there and shoock his head.

I got up then and said "Emmett you're funny and if I were up for it I would take you on now. I know you are a hell of a lot stronger then me but I would still do it. You never know I could probably teach you some things."

"Very funny Bella I doubt there is anything you can teach me."

"Oh I don't know, I mean I have been fighting for a while and I was constantly working on my moves. There wasn't much else to do when you all left. I did get a laugh at what I did to the school though. That kept me entertained for a while." I just smiled and I could see shock expressions on everyone's faces. I knew one of them would ask me. Amazingly it was Jasper.

"Bella what did you do?"

I decided to smile and say "Oh I had my fun and games. I guess you guys rubbed off on me the last time you were here."

"I don't believe you."

"No okay but I suggest that tomorrow at school you check the other school roof that we were not on yesterday, because you should see a massive 'life sucks…deal with it' sign spray painted in black across it. There should also be initials is the corner reading 'I.S.' for Isabella Swan. So check it if you don't believe me. Now I am going to go to Charlie's house so I can get changed and start packing."

"There is no need to go there Bella I already have most of your clothes here. I knew you would have needed them." Alice said still looing amazed at what I had said before.

"Well I guess I am going to go and get changed. Excuse me."

I walked up the stairs and went into Edwards's room. I had my top off and just about to change my skirt when Carlisle walked in. I gasped, I must not have heard the knock at the door.

"I have come to check your cuts from last night also I need to weigh you so I can arrange a schedule for you to get back to proper health."

"My cuts are fine and I don't need to be weighed."

"Did you miss the part where I told you down stairs that you will do as you are told? Now give me your hands."

I just stood there with my arms crossed. There was no way that I was going to just give him my arms and let him weigh me. Not going to happen.

"Rosalie can you please come in here, Bella is deciding to be difficult."

In an instant Rosalie was in Edwards room and holding my arms steady for Carlisle. I just stood there getting really angry.

"I don't need any of your help. I don't need this shit in my life! It would be so much easier if everyone just leaves me the HELL ALONE! ITS YOUR FUCKING FAULT I AM LIKE THIS! IF YOU ALL DIDNT LEAVE BECAUSE EDWARD DECIDED THAT IT WAS A FUCKING GOOD IDEA I WOULD NEVER OF BEEN LIKE THIS!"

I was angry. I was breathing so hard that it was getting hard to breathe. Nothing felt right inside. I wasn't numb anymore. I had full fled emotions and feelings and it wouldn't turn off.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU JASPER! I WOULDNT BE FEELING WHAT I AM IF YOU DIDNT MAKE ME!"

"Bella, Bella you need to calm down. You will do more damage to your arms if you don't." It was Carlisle talking but my brain wouldn't register what the words meant.

I kept breathing hard until I felt like I was choking. This time Rosalie tried talking to me.

"Bella, breathe like this." She was taking in slow breathes but I was too out of it.

"Jasper get in here. I need you to try and clam her otherwise I will have to sedate her."

Jasper was sending me a wave of calm but I was starting to black out from the lack of air in my lungs.

"Bella I am going to give you a sedative. You will calm down and you will fall asleep."

I felt a slight prick in my arm and then I was out like a light.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up I felt cold lips kissing my head, lips and cheekbone. I knew it was Edward but I didn't open my eyes. I was enjoying him kissing me. I laid there for a while until I suddenly went into shock. Edward had decided to move down to my neck and bite me. Not hard enough to actually split the skin but enough to leave a mark. I laid there frozen, petrified as to what might happen if I moved.

"Bella! Bella I wasn't going to actually bite you. Bella?" Edward's voice washed over me but I still couldn't move. I was still way too scared.

"She is petrified Edward, she can't move at the moment. Just give her a few minutes, she will relax on her own." Jasper said very quickly.

Everyone must have been in the room because I could hear them. I have never been petrified before but at the moment it is like I can hear everything. A few minutes went by and I started to move. I shot of the bed and instantly moved to the other side of the room. I stood facing away from everyone else because I was too scared to look at any of them. I was looking out the window trying to just calm myself down because if I were at home I knew what I would be doing. There would be a razor blade in one of my hands.

"Bella I am sorry I didn't mean to scare you like that are you okay?" Edward said and he started to move towards me. I raised my hand in an instant and said "Don't come near me. Just leave me for a moment. I need to calm down and I just need to be by myself for a while. I will be down soon and Edward I know you didn't mean to scare me I know I did say yesterday for you to bite me so it is fine."

"But Bella I –"

"Just leave Edward I need to take a shower anyway. I will be down stairs soon."

"Bella do you not remember what happened yesterday?" It was Carlisle talking.

I looked at his with a strange look. Yesterday of course I remember what happened.

"I got into a fight with Lauran and Emmett dragged me off her. I ended up here, you yelled at me. Then I got my arm bandaged and I went to sleep."

I looked at him like 'what the hell do you think happened'.

"Ah Bella what happened when I was bandaging your arm?"

"Rosalie came in to help me and then we said good night and I went to sleep."

"Bella you completely yelled and screamed. Carlisle had to sedate you because you couldn't breathe properly. This was after Jasper came in to help calm you down, which for the first time ever didn't work."

I thought about it for a moment but it just didn't register at all. "Common guys this is not funny. Please don't play tricks with my mind. I don't like it this time of the morning."

"We are serious." Rosalie spoke again.

"Whatever you say but I need a shower. So if you don't mind."

They all left and I gathered my stuff to take a shower. I spent a few minutes putting my stuff in the bathroom when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was still in my bra and undies. I screamed. I could not believe what I looked like. My whole body was just bony. I heard a knock at the door. "Bella are you okay?" I was Edward.

"I'm fine I just saw myself in the mirror. It's all good."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm fine I will be down soon."

I kept looking at myself in the mirror I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. "This must be my own personal nightmare" I said to myself. I grabbed my iPod and turned on 'Talkin'2 myself' featuring Kobe by Eminem. The song played and I began my shower. I went along with some of the lyrics. If felt good because it helped me to calm down. When the song finished I got out of the shower.

I walked back into the bedroom and I noticed there were clothes laid out on the bed for me. A pair of jeans and a purple t-shirt with a note reading _just wear them Bella_. "You have got to be kidding me. NOT FUNNY ALICE!" I knew I didn't need to yell but I just felt like it. I decided to just do as I was told but I decided I would wear my black hoodie with the heart that was stabbed with a knife. It was my personal favourite. I did my hair but when I was doing my makeup I didn't do the eyeliner that I used to do. I decided to wear metallic eye shadow that was gold. I had never worn it before and it really looked good. I put on mascara and as I went to put on eyeliner just to finish it up I just stood there looking at it. I decided to just put it down and walk downstairs. I got to the bottom of the stairs and Rosalie's face just went into shock.

"Emmett I think there is something wrong with your wife. She keeps staring at me and she would never do that unless she wants to kill me."

The whole family was in the room in seconds, they were all looking at me and Rosalie.

"That's not funny Bella." Rosalie said through gritted teeth.

"Oh really because I found it funny. I mean I never thought I could make a joke about how your face looked." I kept laughing.

"Watch it Bella you don't know what I can do to you. I will make your life hell."

I just kept laughing. That was the wrong thing to do because Rosalie gave a growl and in an instant I was pushed up against the wall with Rosalie's hand around my neck. "Don't Bella you are making a mistake and you are playing with fire. The others may not lay a hand on you but I am different. You piss me off and you will know about it. You think you have been through hell you haven't seen anything yet."

Jasper and Emmett were at her in an instant, pulling her off. They told her to calm down and to let it go.

Edward was by me in an instant and hugging me, making sure I was okay.

"I am fine Edward, Rosalie and I were just blowing off steam. No harm done."

"Bella she could have killed you."

"Rosalie is going to have to do a little more than that to kill me. I am fine and Rosalie just needed to get a point across to me. Which I have received Rosalie, thank you."

"Okay now that this is over it is time for the human to eat." Edward said whilst still hugging me.

"I am not hungry but thanks for the offer."

"Bella you weigh 40 kilos and you haven't eaten for a bit. So you are going to eat."

"If I don't want to eat then I won't."

"Humour me." Was all he said whilst dragging me into the kitchen to eat breakfast.

I saw there was bacon and eggs on a plate ready for me. There was also a glass of orange juice ready for me. I decided that there was not point fighting the inevitable. I was going to have to eat sooner or later so I decided to eat a piece of bacon. It tasted really good. So I decided to eat some more. I really didn't know that I was so hungry but I still didn't eat a lot because my stomach lining had shrunk and I just couldn't eat anymore. When I was full I went up stairs to brush my teeth. Edward followed me.

"Edward why are you following me? I am just going to brush my teeth."

"I am just keeping an eye on you." He smiled his crooked smile at me.

I ignored it and went to the bathroom. I finished brushing my teeth when it hit me. He was keeping an eye on me to make sure I didn't throw up my food. I was furious just then I wanted to throw something at him.

"Bella what's wrong?"

"You followed me to make sure I wouldn't throw up the food I just ate. I am not stupid Edward I want to get better and fighting with people who tell me what to do is just part of my personality but I would never stick my fingers down my mouth to intentionality make myself throw up. Geez give me a little credit."

"Bella I just wanted to make sure."

"I know but please don't next time."

"Bella I know you don't want to hear this now, but I am sorry for leaving you. Please can you forgive me, I want you back."

"Edward I already told you I forgive you but I don't want this life anymore. I just want to get better and move on."

"Be with me until you are better and you at least know where you want to go."

"Edward that is not going to be fair on you. I would only be using you until I decide it is time for me to leave."

"I won't stop you from leaving Bella, I promise you. But please just be with me until then."

Did I really want to do this? Yes, no? I still love him but he hurt me, can I trust him? Maybe this is what I need, normality.

"Okay. Yes."

Before he said anything I ran to him and jumped into his arms and started to kiss him. He responded immediately. We were kissing for what was a minute until he stopped.

"Bella we have to get to school. We will be late."

"Fine but I want to keep kissing you all the way down the stairs all the way to the car."

He smiled and said "Deal". He picked me up so I had my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands around his neck. Edward had both of his hands around my back. We kept kissing like this as he descended the stairs. He moved at human pace so it could last longer. When we got to the lower landing I heard a few comments. "Geez you two get a room" Complements of Jasper. "You have a wild one their, be carful Edward." Emmett laughed out. Edward growled at their comments and I just said "Don't worry babe they haven't seen anything yet." He growled but this time it was a playful growl. I just smiled and went back to kissing him. We were finally at the car when he put me down. He was about to say something when my phone buzzed. I had gotten a message. I opened my phone to read the message.

**Hey I am sorry about Charlie. I went to see how you were holding up but you weren't there. We need to catch up some time. Jacob.**

I stared at the message. Why in the world would Jacob be messaging me and why would he want to see me. The last time I had seen him I basically told him to fuck off. I mean I know that Charlie had just died but seriously. So many face expressions must have flow across my face and there were so many different feelings flying through my body I just couldn't concentrate. I started to remember the time I went to La Push and Jacob told me about 'the cold ones'. He also told me about his family legend. How they were descended from wolves. But Jacob couldn't be a werewolf. Could he?

"Bella are you okay I just felt a rush of so many emotions hit me all at once and I can feel so many flying through your body right now?" Jasper said. I looked around and everyone was outside now looking at me.

I couldn't answer I still had too many emotions and thought running through my head.

"Edward you need to move away from Bella I need to touch her so I can get her to concentrate."

Edward moved out of the way because I felt Jasper touch both of my hands. I gasped as soon as he touched me. "Bella it is okay I am just trying to make you focus on one emotion." I could feel it working because there was a wave of calm through me. I instantly felt better.

"There you are Bella. What happened?"

"I was kissing Edward when my phone vibrated. I got a message from Jacob. It just took me by surprise because the last time I saw him I told him to basically get fucked. I didn't expect him to message me."

"Okay but there is more to it then that because just getting a message from someone wouldn't make you loose control like you just did. What did the message say?"

"It saidHey I am sorry about Charlie. I went to see how you were holding up but you weren't there. We need to catch up some time. Jacob."

"Okay who is Jacob?"

"Oh just an old family friend Jacob Black. He is Billy Blacks son."

Everyone froze in an instant. That just gave me the confirmation that I needed to the question I had made in my head.

"Perfect just great. When you think life could not get any better the werewolf's decide to join the party."

"Bella what do you know about them?" Jasper asked in an instant.

"Nothing much and I don't want to know anything more about them. We will talk about what I know later right now I need to get to school. I still might get suspended for almost hurting Lauran. So let's go."

They all nodded. I put my iPod in my ears whilst I got out of the car. I knew everyone was staring at me so I turned up the volume so I didn't have to hear them. I just needed to think but I also needed to just chill out. The day went steady and I didn't get into trouble with Lauran as the school decided to pardon it once they found out about what she said about Charlie.

I was just walking out of the school when I saw them. Jacob and what I was pretty sure were the rest of the pack. They were standing on the oval with Jacob. There were 6 in total. I could not believe what I was seeing. They all looked so old. As Edward was still in class I went over there. Jacob stood 5 metres away from the others. I stood a metre from him.

"What do you want Jacob?"

"I just wanted to see how you were holding up. You look like shit Bella. What happened to you?"

In that instant all the Cullens were 5 metres behind me. Everyone looked like they were ready to fight.

"Everyone there is not going to be a fight ever. Now Jacob watch your mouth you DOG. You have no right to talk to me like that. Why can't you get the message to fuck off? I know you are all werewolves because I guessed it this morning. Now I think it would be best for you all to leave."

"Bella I am not interested in fighting anyone but how in the world did you know that we were werewolves?"

"You told me. Now go."

I went to walk away but he grabbed my arm and spun me around. Edward was about to run and attack him but I yelled out "Edward I can handle this."

"Jacob if you know what is good for you, you will let me go!"

He didn't let me go. All he said was "I didn't tell you so who did?"

"You did Jacob the day you told me about the cold ones. Now let me GO!"

"Oh no Bella I still have more questions for you."

I decided that I had had enough. I punched Jacob in the face. He let go of me instantly starting to fall backwards. I kicked him in the groin and he fell to the ground instantly.

"Now the next time I tell you to let me go you do it okay. Don't come around here any more because I never want to see you again. So listen when I say FUCK OFF! Go back to your kennels dogs."

"I am sorry Bella. You know about Charlie and your mum. If had only seen you sooner you wouldn't look like this. It's their fault for leaving you. They contribute to your weight loss."

"Jacob shut the Fuck up! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE HELL I HAVE BEEN THROUGH! YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY YOU DONT! If you ever mention my parents to me again and blame everything on things that you have no fucking idea about I will personally make an example of you. Fuck off all of you! And I mean ALL of you!"

I left that instant. I walked to the car and I waited for the Cullens to come back to the car. I was pissed. When everyone came to the car the only thing I said was "I am not talking about this now. I just want to go home and punch the shit out of a punching bag." Then I left and walked all the way to their house. I didn't want to be near anyone. I needed to calm down.

When I finally arrived I went up stairs and got changed into a pair of trackies and a tank top. I didn't talk to anyone. I went down stairs and went outside. Emmett had set up the punching bag for me outside. I was thankful but I wasn't in the mood to say thank you. I grabbed my iPod and turned it onto 'Not Afraid' by Eminem. I started to punch the bag so hard. I kept doing it over and over. I started to say stuff like "Fucking dogs have to interfere in my life. They have the fucking balls to tell me what to do. Fucking Charlie dies and all they want to do is tell me I look like crap. Oh gee thanks."

I scream out of frustration. "I can't just live my life no every fucking supernatural thing has to interfere. It just can't be lets just let Bella live her life no it has to be let the vampire still your heart then let him leave you. Renee dies so my life just gets even better. I start to fucking feel better oh but no Alice comes back into my life because she thought I was going to kill myself for jumping off a fucking cliff. Geez did she ever think that my life would be better off. So then everyone comes back and tells me what to do and judges me for what the fuck I have become. Geez thanks guys."

I turn around and look at the house because I know they are all watching me. After 10 seconds I just go back to punching the bag. "Oh but no were not finished yet not even close. So then Charlie dies. Boy big surprise there. Now I am living with the supernatural and they are telling me what to do with my life. Treating me like a fucking child. So that is the icing on my year and I am just thinking it is all going to calm down but no, life just needs to test me further. The werewolves get involved. Well lagh di dah what do you know they exist, big fucking surprise there! They exist but not to leave me alone no they couldn't do that. They come to school just to see how they can fuck Bella's life up some more. I fucking hate them all."

I kept punching the punching bag and screaming out in frustration. I kept doing this until I just couldn't breathe anymore. I fell to the ground. I was crying in an instant. "Charlie, Renee why? I fucking loved you with all my heart and you just leave. It is not fair. Life is just shit. I miss you. Come back. Please come back."

"Bella it's okay. It is okay."

Rosalie had her hands around me. I guess I had finally snapped. All my wounds were finally open. I wasn't going back to the Bella that I have been for the past 8 months. I just sat there crying. Rosalie just kept holding me tight. I needed to feel again and Rosalie was helping.

"I remember Rosalie. Yesterday, I remember."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I sat there crying. Rosalie was helping me I was shocked that she was helping me but at the moment I just needed to let all my emotions out. I guess I now know what it feels like when you have finally hit rock bottom. I decided that I needed to say something. "Rosalie I am sorry. I didn't mean what I said before I was just so fucking angry with everything. I don't hate you guys at all. Please know that."

Rosalie hugged me and kissed me on the cheek before she said "I know Bella. We all could see you were going to break down sooner of later and with everything that has happened today and in the last year I am surprised you didn't break down earlier."

She smiled at me and I said "Are they going to be angry with me? You know for what I said."

"Bella no one is angry with you and even if they were they would have to go through me before anything happens to you."

"Ahh typical Rosalie you'll have to go through me and I am the biggest and nastiest bitch ever so watch out." I joked and she just laughed.

"Are you ready to come inside because we need to have a talk with you and it might take a while."

"Yeah I am but can I please get changed and have a shower first. I stink."

"Yeah no problem."

We walked back to the house and I went upstairs. I got undressed and had a shower. I looked at myself in the mirror and decided it was time to get rid of the emo Bella. I removed all my piercings. I put them all together in a box and put them in a draw. The holes would close eventually so I didn't care. I pulled my hair into a nice ponytail and made my way down stairs. I entered the living room and took a seat.

Everyone was there waiting for me and when I went to take my seat I knew that they noticed me without piercings and that they knew I was going to be okay.

"I am ready to answer any questions you may have. I am an open book. But I just want to say that I am sorry for what I said before. I do not hate any of you I was just angry at the time and it will never be said again." I said whilst looking at everyone in the room.

"Bella I appreciate the apology and believe me when I say that no one is angry with you. People just snap sometimes and judging by what I have heard today I can totally understand that you did." Carlisle said whilst looking at me.

"Thankyou for understanding. I am ready when you are."

"Okay well first off I hear that you have found out about the werewolves. I just want to ask you what you know about them."

"I know that they change when they are mad, each wolf is never identical to the other, Jacob is the leader to the pack down on the reservation and that you have a treaty with them. You stay off their lands and basically they don't kill you."

"So far you have everything right but there is a little more to it. If any of our family kills or bites a human the treaty is void. There will be a war against our race and theirs."

I thought about that for a moment when it finally hit me. Bite. If I wanted to become a vampire I would have to move somewhere else. "Wait so I have to move away from here if I want to become a vampire just so we don't break the treaty?"

"Basically yeah."

"Okay that is fine but you know we can never come back. They know I used to live here and that still means that the treaty is void once I am turned."

"Yeah I know but it will be okay. We will come back one day."

"Fine next question."

This time it was Esme's turn to speak. "Bella we have arranged plans for your fathers funeral. It will be this week Saturday. Would you like us to be there or not because I know that the pack will be there and I don't want to cause trouble?"

"Yes you are all allowed to come. I will talk to pack and arrange a treaty with them for Saturday. I will make sure that no one is to fight them, touch them or even inflict them with any of your gifts. In the case of them same thing applies they will not be allowed to touch you, hurt you, fight you or anything else that would start a war. If any rule is broken I will decided what the fate of that person will be. I believe that is fair."

"If that is what you wish then we will not stop you."

"Thank you Esme. Any more questions?"

"Yeah I have one." Jasper said looking at me intently.

"Okay shoot."

"How in the world did you get up on the school roof to tag what you did? I saw the tag and believe me I liked it because you have become some little rebel but how did you do it?"

I laughed. "Geez Jasper you had me scared for a second. Um well I climbed a tree and went onto the roof of the veranda and then I continued to climb the drainage poll until I reached the roof. It wasn't that hard because I had been working of my muscles. Also before you ask I did it one night when I stormed out of the house from Charlie. I did it at like three in the morning."

"Okay but you are never going to do that again because you could have died. Also the next time you decided you want to vandalise a roof let Emmett or I know because we will carry you up."

"Thank you for the offer but I think no, wait I know Edward won't kill me but I am sure he will kill you."

"You got that right Bella. Jasper, Emmett please don't encourage her. She has enough encouragement." Edward said.

"It is fine babe I wasn't planning on going with them anyway." I kissed him and waited for the next question.

"Bella I just want to ask you where you got your 8 inch heels from?" Emmett asked me smiling.

"What 8 inch heels? I don't have any heels."

"Yes you do, these ones?" He ran upstairs in a blink of an eye and came back in another blink of an eye with a pair of 8 inch heels.

"Emmett where did you get those from?"

"Alice brought them with the rest of your stuff from your house."

"Alice?"

"What I found them with your stuff and thought you might need them one night." Alice answered smiling.

"I bought them one night when I was shopping in Phoenix. I wanted to wear them to a pimp and hoes party. I have only worn them once and I am never wearing them again. I didn't even realise I had them. Emmett I know what you are going to say and they are what I call stripper shoes or even better compliments of Renee fuck me heels. Sorry about the language but like I said I am never wearing them again."

"Wait wait wait just a minute. Fuck me heels. Why fuck me heels?"

"Geez Emmett are you really that thick? There called fuck me heels because they are meant to be worn during sex. I will give them to Rosalie if you want to try fucking her whilst she has them on."

Everyone laughed just then and Rosalie just glared at me. Emmett just looked at Rosalie with begging eyes.

"Thanks Bella but I don't think I need anymore of them I have many pairs upstairs."

Rosalie said smiling.

"Wait you have fuck me heels! Why have I never seen them?" Emmett said looking annoyed.

Rosalie just laughed and said "Because you haven't now calm down or else you will never see them."

Emmett immediately sat down and shut up. Rosalie was the next person to ask me a question and I knew by the way that she looked that I wasn't going to like it.

"Just ask it Rose I don't care just ask the question."

"Okay Bella I remember when you came here and I could smell the blood from your cuts and it set me thinking. I wanted to recount the days of your cycle so I knew when to go hunting. The only thing is you should be having your period right now but you aren't. Why?"

I was so embarrassed by the question that it took me a minute to think before I had to answer the question. "Well Rosalie it is because of my weight. I have become so anorexic that I am unable to have my period."

"Bella when did this stop?" Carlisle asked in the voice of a doctor.

"Ahh well two months ago."

"You need to start eating more because this isn't good for your health."

"I know Carlisle but I can only eat so much seeing as my stomach lining has shrunk."

"You will get there."

"Okay any other questions." I looked at Edward straight away because he hadn't asked a question.

"Bella would you mind keeping the heels. I think you might need them some time."

Everyone just laughed. I sat there in shock. Could he really be thinking that? He actually wanted to sleep with me.

"Okay Edward if you want me to keep the heels I will but I am not wearing them until you tell me to because I don't want to kill myself."

He smiled and kissed me on the head.

"Oh by the way Bella this letter came for you today." Esme said looking at me with a puzzled expression whilst giving me the letter.

Wait a letter came for me? What why? "Okay thankyou Esme."

I looked at the letter and I saw a layers mark. I had a very puzzled expression on my face now. Why would a layer be giving me a letter? Everyone was looking at me with curious expressions. I decided to open it. There was a piece of paper inside with another envelope. I grabbed the letter and began reading.

_Dear Isabella Maire Swan,_

_I am very sorry for the loss of both your parents. As both your parents had life insurance and have unfortunately passed, there is a check for $2.5 million dollars enclosed in the envelope. We decided to put both parents life insurance payouts together in the one check as they were both with our company. _

_You may do as you wish with this money and we would like to with you a very happy and healthy life. _

_Yours Sincerely, Harry Grant._

I just sat there shocked for a moment. I needed to calm down a minute. I decided to open the other envelope and exactly as he said there was a check for $2.5 million dollars.

"Bella what is it? Who was the letter from?" Edward asked looking at my face expression.

"Ah it is from my family layers. It turns out that my parents had life insurance and as they have died the money goes to me."

"Okay but why are you so shocked?"

"Well the amount of the check is for $2.5 million dollars and yeah. I think I need a glass of water. Just don't follow me I want to get it myself. I need to think."

I got up and went to the kitchen. I placed the check on the fridge and got a glass of water. I drank it slowly and stared out the window.


	10. Update

Dear Readers,

It comes with great regret that I have decided to abandon this story. I have been trying to write more on this story for a while now and unfortunately I am at a road block.

I would like to make you all aware that the outcome for this story was for Bella to leave the Cullens and sneak off to another state in hope that my moving around she would not be found. Bella would eventually become old and be on her death bed, when she would see the Cullens again for the last time in her life. They would all regret the fact of what happened to her when she was young and the role they played for trying to control her. Bella would then forgive them and understand their decisions. She would tell Edward that she loved him very much and always secretly cared about him. She would also say that a life as a vampire was not the life that she wanted to live. Bella would die the next day and the Cullens would have to start moving on with their lives like they had been since she left.

So this is how I wanted to end my story but I couldn't think how to put it all into the correct words. I myself have changed a lot since I wrote this story, I must say that I have had a lot of fun with the whole dramatic side of things, they always made me laugh.

If someone would like to continue this story then please inbox me. If there is more then one of you I will make a decision on what you decided you might like to do with this story.

My ultimate goal is to see the story finished. Thank you very much to everyone that has commented and had liked this story.

Again sorry that I could no longer continue,

Kind regards,

M1SS NATT1E


End file.
